More importantly, I had a crisis of conscience over the upcoming November NY Marathon. At home, as the restlessness of small town suburbia set in, I recalled saying that I'd run it with a fellow Mudder during my April visit; we had sealed it with a pinky promise. I'd never done a marathon before, so I was horrified when I went to the NY Marathon site and saw that registration had ended in April. No matter - I'd get a guaranteed entry by running for a cancer charity, since I'd planned to do that anyway.
Yeah, even the registration for many of the charities were closed. I looked at the American Cancer Society. I could run for them if I raised $3500 before the end of November. Otherwise, I would be charged the remainder. Still, I put my name on the waiting list of several charities.
And so I saw myself going to Kinko's and printing out flyers in addition to starting a multimedia campaign. I'd put them in mail boxes. I'd contact my local newspaper. I'd solicit donations from nearby businesses. I speak to family, friends, and strangers. I'd raise that $3500 - why not make $5000? I'd do all of this and train for a marathon in less than 50 days. I would do this and be reminded of how awesome I am. Everyone who heard my story would know of my awesomeness as well.
When I talked to those who knew me best, they said I should wait. Hey, that was OK. I'd show them, but I'd be charitable after I proved them wrong. The thought of sacrifices and struggles corresponding to success filled me with such hope and purpose. And if I failed, then I would do so beautifully.
On the Monday after my check-up, I received my promising blood test results, and I also got an email from one the charity wait lists. I now had a spot, which held the same $3500 time-sensitive requirement. Plus, some facebook friends (who happen to be actual friends as well) told me that I should go for it. Yes, the Universe was telling me that I should go for it.
Yeah, yeah, it'd be like one of those motivational sports movies where a group of misfits and their down-and-out coach make it to the championship (and learn some important lessons along the way), except I'd be the entire team. And it'd be about me. Me. ME.
What a load of Bullshit - using a cancer charity and a silly race to stroke my sickly ego. This was supposed to be about raising money for cancer research and support. It was supposed to be about cherishing my health and improving. It couldn't be about trying to fill a hole - it had to be about digging deeper.
I need more time if I want to do this right. So I plan on heading to NY in November, but I'll be watching this race from the sidelines.
Instead, I registered with the LiveStrong charity for the Austin Marathon in February. My goal is to raise at least $2000 by then.
Not sure if anyone still reads this, but check out my donation page here - yes this is a link that you should click on
Thanks.
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